bondsofsuffering | limelight

[ allows himself exactly (1) shuddering breath. doesn't pull back yet, but, ]

So, turns out that knife makes you want to cut someone you care about. Like, you have to do it. And the masks can make you act...not like yourself. Like, say, enough to pick up a sus knife.

[ wry, ]

Maybe I should take the compliment? Not sure everyone's getting knifed by a couple of people.

[His grip tightens when he hears that.]

What the hell? That's what she cooked up?

Fun for the whole family, right?

Why is she always so awful?

[Ugh- he's mad thinking about it, and madder still knowing that even if he approached her, that wouldn't do a damn thing.]

Gets a kick out of it.

[ grimly ]

I also touched it, to — I don't know. Prove I'm not afraid of her? Except I obviously am afraid, and she wasn't even there.

Edited 2024-11-27 22:14 (UTC)

Then you had to...?

You should check on Cinth later.

Not just for that. He lost his memory because of one of the booths, and it scared him pretty bad.

It...scared me pretty bad too, honestly.

A real bouquet of bad effects, huh?

...I'll make sure to find him. But what about you? What exactly happened?

[ pulls back a little just to point to his ankle, ]

Satin.

[ and then gesture at his other arm, ]

Cinth.

For the record. I didn't — this wasn't me volunteering for anything stupid, promise. It was just a lot of wrong place, wrong time.

Satin was kind of like...hey, can you come over here, Aster. By the way, sorry about this cursed knife. Not his fault, obviously. He tried to make it as quick and not-weird as possible.

But after the other day, just sitting there and taking a knife was kind of...I mean, I don't have to tell you.

Fake Cinth was just annoying.

But it took him, like, ten minutes to work up to it because he kept stopping to ask questions or be like, "I don't know you but I hate your vibes."

I don't know if it was better or worse for him that he didn't go back to normal till after.

...I guess, without his memories, the wariness and suspicion was all he had left.

[Which is just - an extra layer of depressing, honestly.]

Were you able to talk afterwards, at least?

Pretty much. That and...a lot of fear. But I don't blame him, considering what the boat is like. And what being alone without memories is like.

[ shrugs ]

Yeah, for sure. He was really shaken up about it and worried I'd ditch him. Which — obviously not.

No, I expect you wouldn't.

[Blame him, or ditch him.]

...What about you, though? How are you feeling after all that?

...you know what I keep thinking?

What?

[ a slow breath out ]

When he looked at me like a stranger? When he said he didn't care about me? That wasn't great, but I knew it wouldn't last. It was just some stupid thing from a booth. A couple of days, tops, and he'd be back to normal.

But like...Ore's the only person I've met from before I lost my memories. And maybe that's why. How bad would it be to deal with someone not recognizing you if you know it can't be fixed, you know? Who'd even want that?

...Then, you think the people who knew you might have decided it would be too difficult to face you, knowing you wouldn't - couldn't recognize them?

Wouldn't you?

I can't even blame them, if that was part of it.

...

No. I think I'll still blame them, even if that's the case.

Leaving you to be lost on your own, without anyone to support you... isn't that just taking the cowardly route?

[ a little laugh, rueful, and he fully slumps against snow. lets him hold up his weight for a moment ]

Maybe. You might have to blame them for both of us, whoever they are. Not that I really care about finding out anymore. Just...hard not to think about, after that.

[Snow accepts that weight, hugging him tighter.]

Fine, then I'll do all the blaming. They weren't there for you when you needed it most.

...If either of you lose your memories, I won't run.

I'll be there to love you, again and again.

limelight_stage IC Contact;

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