bondsofsuffering | limelight

So, that stuff is out.

That doesn't mean other bad things might not happen, don't get me wrong. You'd be better than me at figuring that out. But that might be less scary than thinking of consequences as a big, spooky could be anything. It can't be anything, right? Even the Showmaster isn't all-powerful or all-knowing.

...

Is it supposed to be comforting, knowing that even if I die, even if I'm maimed, at least I'll still come back, again and again?

There are many, many ways to die, Aster. They've already shown their creativity there, too.

...sorry. No. You're right. But I don't know how to make that one better.

And that's why I can't help but feel uneasy all the time.

But... I think if I just got used to it, that would be a point of no return for me anyway.

Because it'd feel too much like accepting this place?

Because I'd have stopped seeing any value in preserving life and living.

[ quiet with that one for a moment ]

...yeah. Yeah, I know what you're saying.

...I really don't want to reach that point.

[But he's not sure he can avoid it forever, either.]

[ forehead kiss ]

I wish I could promise you won't. I wish I had anything better to tell you besides that...I'm here for you. No matter what happens. No matter what they put us through. I'll be here to love you, and to listen to you whenever you're scared, and to face whatever problems come our way with you, and to get it wrong, and to get it right, too, with you.

[Leaning into that.]

...Yeah. That's the most either of us can do, isn't it...?

Yeah, it is. The way things are right now.

[ pulling into a hug, if he'll allow that ]

But it won't be this way forever.

[Melting into the hug tbh.]

...I really hope not.

[ holds tight, kisses the top of his head ]

It won't be.

...The story's got to end eventually.

[But from the way he says it, it's more an attempt to reassure himself.]

The story has to end. The Showmaster wants to get to the end. The thought police jumpscare told me, you have to get to the end. There were two other voyages like this before us.

[ rubs slow circles into his back ]

I don't know what it is, but there's something. And whatever it is, we'll face it together.

I just hope it ends before it drives us all crazy.

I know.

[ continues to hold ]

Me too. Trust me, you aren't the only one who's scared.

Still... if you end up resembling the guy in your visions, that's still a positive for you, isn't it?

...I don't really know what's a positive for me anymore. I just know that I've been scared and angry, all the time, for weeks. And that I'm so sick of it, and so sick of taking it out on everyone, and so sick of feeling this way...except it's not going anywhere.

But seeing those visions helps you with it, doesn't it?

Honestly? They help me with getting used to everything being terrible. And with seeing how vision guy thinks in super scary situations.

I don't know if that's a good thing. It just seems like a better thing than being useless to everyone. Or worse.

Then I guess what I mean is - if you were to become more like him, are there at least some positives you could get from it?

[ oh ]

...yeah, there are. You're thinking about yours?

...

I can't think of a single positive trait from my guy.

[ holds tight ]

You really don't have to keep looking at them.

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