bondsofsuffering | limelight

[ swallows ]

Something like that, I guess.

...It seems out of character for him, but even I've experienced mental effects.

[Distressing that it led to this, though!!]

Wait, you have?

...Yeah. I went after Cinth the other day because of it.

[Reluctant, ashamed.]

All those mind games got to me.

[ okay, snow might still be working, but reaching out to gently squeeze his shoulder ]

What happened?

Mm... He was joking with Foxy, but in my head, it sounded much more sinister. ...I still catch myself, sometimes, thinking that way.

That guy in the vision... he was always looking for situations like that, I think. A stray word or phrase that could mean something bad on the horizon for him.

[It's hard not to feel bad about the whole thing - for how he behaved around others now as a result, but also for the guy who had such a complete lack of trust in the world.]

Edited 2024-12-05 21:41 (UTC)

[ doesn't matter whether or not snow is still working, actually; he's pulling snow into a hug right now ]

I'm sorry. That sounds really scary.

[He'd about finished up anyway, so while the hug is a surprise, he doesn't make a move to leave it - instead leans into it, taking comfort in the show of affection.]

...I didn't expect it to affect me that much. I just have to be more careful next time.

[ holds tight ]

You don't have to keep taking them. The visions. Less chance of a next time if you stop.

True... but I have other reasons for taking them, too.

Like...what?

...I suppose you could call it curiosity.

Why do you take them, yourself?

[ quiet for a moment ]

Honestly? They're kind of like...practice. All those weird, terrible, scary visions help me brace myself for the performances. I know it sounds crazy, but they sort of make the pressure easier to handle.

Because it shows you an example of someone else enduring weird, terrible, scary things?

Yeah, exactly. It's not easy for vision guy either, but he's more...I don't know. Capable? He wouldn't have freaked out at some of the stuff that's happened here. And I wouldn't now, either.

Do you want to be more like him?

I want to be...

[ trails off, considering ]

...strong enough to protect what matters. And I think he has more of an idea how that feels than I do.

So yeah, I guess so. In some ways.

[His feelings in response are - complicated. He doesn't want that, but he knows it's not his place to say what Aster can and cannot be, so he's immediately trying to bury that initial feeling.]

You and Cinth both, huh.

I guess?

[ shrugs ]

I don't think it's the same thing. I'm not — whatever. But I've been bad at basically all of these performances, and basically everything in between too, and that'd be okay anywhere else? But not on the murder cruise deluxe.

You really think that?

Um. There isn't a single performance that went better because I was there. But there are plenty that went worse.

Edited 2024-12-08 04:06 (UTC)

You did fine in all the social ones, though. And besides that, every time death was on the table, I'm the one with a 2 for 2 track record for arguing the choice that got us all killed.

[ shakes his head ]

In the first one...my voice didn't matter, just like the Dame said. I didn't get a say in what happened to anyone. And what I argued for was so predictable and selfish that no one there, and no one who heard about it later, took my perspective seriously. But I know you well enough to know that you must've tried really hard to figure it out. You must've had good reasons that convinced a lot of the others. You weren't wrong, it was just unfair.

In the last one? I argued for the same choice as you. You might remember me personally vouching for everyone who beheaded us. I really wanted it to make a difference that I was there for all of you this time. It didn't. That situation was unfair, too.

My decision in the first one is still the one that left you alone.

[And unlike wbb, he still regrets that.]

...I got off-track, though.

Uh, wait no, I want to stay on this track actually.

[ pulls back again to look snow in the eyes ]

Is that what you really think?

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