bondsofsuffering | MEMORY REGISTRY

He is a child. His foster parents, whatever that means, are here to pick him up from another day at school. He's surrounded by smiles; not only himself, but his parents, and all of his friends. Everyone bids each other farewell, and he turns to leave with his parents, receiving a fond pat on the head before his hands are gathered up in larger ones, leading him home.

-Apparently he is either an orphan or was surrendered for adoption? He didn't really mind this, however.
-He loves his parents!! They're good. He was aware they weren't related by blood but sincerely didn't care.
-Everything was fun and sunshine and great.

He remembers studying biology as a twelve year old. The textbooks he uses are definitely highschool level in spite of his age. It's all self-study, diligently taking notes - yet he almost seems to be enjoying himself. He's determined, yet hopeful.

He feels like if he studies hard, he might be able to make a difference in the world.

-He was explicitly studying for... something.
-Also he's got high school level knowledge of biology.
-He felt like he'd found his purpose.

He remembers studying English as a twelve year old. He plays audio tapes to guide his pronunciation, using both a textbook and a workbook for his studies. In spite of the complex setup, he breezes through the lessons with ease, mimicking the pronunciation almost fluently.

He can't afford to slack off. If he's going to study in America, he definitely needs to know the language.

-OKAY WELL APPARENTLY HE WAS GOING TO STUDY IN THE US.
-Also he's good at languages.
-...Also he knows English.

He's about thirteen years old, asleep on an airplane - one that looks to be from the late nineties, yet not old. Notably, there doesn't seem to be anyone related to him sitting nearby, not with that rather unique look of his. All windows are closed, but as the announcement of their impending arrival plays over the speakers, he rouses and blearily opens up the window.

Below is a city dotted with buildings and vehicles- people going about their lives. But the sight is enough to wake him up from sheer excitement as he peers out the window at it all.

The international flight between Japan and the US will be landing soon. All passengers should return to their seats. Customs forms are being distributed.

Even as he settles back into his seat, the grin he wears is one of satisfaction. He made it!

-He was thirteen when he went to the US.
-Apparently he really did succeed at his studies, because he was on the way to study at a university.
-His foster parents didn't come with; he was traveling alone.
-He felt like he was on the brink of starting something incredibly important that would help a lot of people... He was excited and proud to do so.

Page 17-39

Summary:
Izanagi is playing basketball with Narumi from the guest unit event and some fellow high school students. It seems to be his own ragtag group ("Hizumi and Co." on the score board) against the school basketball team, but between Izanagi's incredible athletic ability and Narumi's direction, Izanagi's team takes the lead. Yvette as a high schooler can be seen in the background talking with a young woman with long white hair, although due to the focus on Izanagi not much of their conversation can be heard. Many people call Izanagi "Hizumi" throughout the game, and Izanagi speaks with a super phony Kansai dialect.

In the end, Narumi stops directing them as effectively, and Izanagi's team loses. Izanagi's upset since this means he doesn't get barbecue and Narumi's cooking is too refreshing. He spends some time with the other students in the gym after the match while Narumi, Yvette, and the woman exit, only rejoining them to complain that Narumi caused them to lose. "If you're supposed to be some great demon, then use your power to do something about it yourself." "When a God like you interferes, there's no hope of winnin'."

But as Narumi and Yvette leave, Izanagi drops his jacket and pauses by the woman to pick it up, mentioning that he's not just playing around - Ayumu's tough. He then leaves to catch up with Narumi and Yvette.

Edited 2022-03-18 03:42 (UTC)

-His name is Hizumi.
-Everything from Yvette's memory is thus relevant to him.
-He's super good at basketball though, he was pretty much carrying the team on his athletic ability.
-He calls Ayumu by his first name, and they seem to act like close friends on the surface. However, Izanagi can tell Ayumu's still keeping a safe distance, and he wants to get closer. He's a tough customer...
-He calls the woman by Kirie-chan, so they're pretty familiar.

Memories of his foster family again. He now knows his foster parents' names and their general relationship - how much they loved and cared for him, and how happy he was as their foster son, and how little his biological family mattered to him - especially since he knew nothing about them.

Memories of college! He was popular both for his charisma and the natural oddity of being a thirteen year old kid from Japan studying at an American university. Everyone was cool, he was well-received socially even though there were a lot of events he couldn't quite partake in due to either his age or his need to work on his research.

Pages 9-25

Hizumi gets dragged out of class by Kirie-chan who's pissed at him for enrolling in high school. She also grabs Ayumu and takes them both to the student guidance office to yell at them because Ayumu's supposed to kill Hizumi and Hizumi's supposed to be killed by Ayumu, but instead they're living together as friends. Ayumu boldly states that he can kill Hizumi at any time, so it doesn't matter if they wait a bit. Kirie dismisses them and tells Hizumi that although he has no sins, he can't be permitted to grow up into the devil, to which Hizumi responds that if he's to become a devil, he'd like to be killed by Ayumu.

Outside of the office, Ayumu reveals he was bluffing and wants Hizumi to help him think of a solution where no one gets hurt, but Hizumi deflects and notes that Ayumu's social life sucks and decides to help Ayumu improve at it starting today.

-High school is so boring, Hizumi didn't even bother to take notes.
-Kirie-chan is someone he enjoys teasing.
-He really, truly doesn't mind if Ayumu kills him.
-He's already given up on trying to find a solution and is more interested in befriending Ayumu.
-Ayumu's reputation in class is terrible.

Replacement link

bondsofsuffering - 2021-04-29 21:07 (UTC) - Expand

He now remembers how to play the harmonica with the full skill he had acquired.

Ch72 Pg40-Ch73 Pg11

Ayumu tells Hizumi he is going to die alone and leaves. Hizumi tries to stop him by shooting at him, but he misses badly every time, and Ayumu points out that they both know he'll never hit, which prompts Hizumi to stop, shaking in fear. Distraught, Hizumi breaks down into tears hugging himself for a few moments before he picks himself up and walks in the opposite direction of the elevators. He breaks the glass of the Tokyo Tower viewing platform and jumps, only for a gust of wind and the trees beneath to cushion his fall. He still breaks pretty much everything but he survives long enough to think on how they're both still doomed to die, even as bystanders call for medical help and claim his surviving the fall is a miracle.

Edited 2022-03-18 03:37 (UTC)

-He definitely tried to kill Ayumu too, even though they both knew it wouldn't work.
-He fucked up so bad that he's going to die alone and that was terrifying enough to try to end his life on the spot.
-A miracle occurred to prevent him from dying even though it still hurt like hell.
-His thoughts before he lost consciousness were "Fate cannot be surpassed. There is nothing we can do on our own. We can only brace ourselves for our impending deaths."

Hizumi is hanging out in a classroom during lunch. He's playing a small harmonica between bites of food from a well-prepared, homemade bento box.

He has the attention of everyone in the class, keeping everyone entertained with snatches of music and conversation. It's clear he's in his element, being surrounded by so many people at once and yet never once missing a beat.

Once again, he's in a classroom, but this time he's with Ayumu. They're both the center of attention now - it seems Hizumi and Ayumu have been explaining why Ayumu keeps getting involved in various cases, which gave him a mysterious and scary aura, but their classmates are realizing he's not that bad after all. Hizumi encourages the positive reactions, pointing out that Ayumu's the one who made his bento from earlier too. The conversation turns towards the newspaper club president (Yvette) who just walked into the class, and the students share their fears about her just in time for her to demand to know what was being discussed. Ayumu points out bluntly that she's the reason for his bad reputation, which she only further solidifies when she shows off a scar on her arm received for his sake.

Ayumu gives Hizumi a short list of groceries to buy on his way home and departs on his own while Hizumi remains in the class for a bit longer, still surrounded by talkative classmates. His attention's still on Ayumu even as he exits though, watching him from the window with an amused smile.

Memories of learning to play harmonica. He's bored and depressed but like, might as well pass the time somehow, right?

He's sixteen by now, approached by a man who strongly resembles Izanami, if some fifteen years older. He cheerfully says they're going on a trip, holding out plane tickets and a passport.

Izanagi looks fairly unimpressed, taking them and checking through the passport - his picture is in there, it's a legit Japanese passport alright - and the tickets, showing various flights to a number of different countries. The visas are already taken care of, according to the man, and when Izanagi dryly responds that he hasn't even packed, the man cheekily wheels out a suitcase.

Izanagi doesn't even pretend to be anything other than resigned, though he does grab the handle on his apparent luggage and begin following the man to the car that will take them to the airport. "Aren't you just hiding from your poor wife?"

Well, there are some things that should be seen before you die - is the only answer, given with a smile that isn't returned.

-Wow he hates this guy, not even bothering to put on an act around him
-No use going against him though so I GUESS WE'RE JUST TRAVELING AROUND THE WORLD TO STAY HIDDEN NOW

Edited 2020-05-19 00:40 (UTC)

A memory of exploring the bone church in Czechoslovakia with Kiyotaka because yes I'm stealing that idea.

A memory of visiting Vatican City with Kiyotaka.

A memory of visiting China with Kiyotaka. Mapo tofu was involved.

Edited 2020-07-01 17:20 (UTC)

[Reference: this discussion except the actual flashback portion. Chapters for backstory dump: Ch. 53, Ch. 54, Ch55 with some minor differences, also noted below.]

He is ten.

It's been a normal day at school and he assumes it will be a normal evening at home - he's wrong. When his foster parents greet him at the door it's with an unusually solemn attitude, and they soon take him aside to explain his origins.

Sparknotes version:

-The "creator" made a charismatic genius named Mizushiro Yaiba
-At the age of 20, he awakened as the "Devil," and understood his purpose in life was to rid the world of humanity
-To that end, he fathered countless children who shared his intelligence, charisma, ridiculous good fortune... and homicidal tendencies. They were called the Blade Children
-Like Yaiba, these children will awaken as destroyers at the age of 20 and rid the world of Humanity
-Unbeknownst to most people, Yaiba had a clone of himself created as well - Mizushiro Hizumi (aka Izanagi), thought by most to be simply Yaiba's little brother.
-16 years after the birth of Yaiba, a second creator brought the antithesis of the Devil into existence: Narumi Kiyotaka.
-At the age of 20, Kiyotaka defeated Yaiba. There were 56 blade children left. They were only 6 years old
-It is theorized that Narumi Ayumu, Kiyotaka's little brother (also actually a clone) is destined to defeat Hizumi and save the Blade Children/the world from their fate.

Afterwards, Kiyotaka who greatly resembles Izanami is brought in to speak with him as his foster parents leave. Kiyotaka reveals that his foster parents feared him, having realized that he resembles Yaiba too much. If left alone he would just become a second coming of Yaiba.

Hizumi doesn't seem especially deterred, however. Instead, he gives a suggestion of his own: if he was born with the same powers as that Devil, then shouldn't he be able to solve the problem the Devil created? He could use that same power to break the curse and save the Blade Children himself.

Kiyotaka seems amused, but doesn't argue even as Hizumi begins making his plans.

Edited 2020-07-02 00:00 (UTC)

-Clones confirmation.
-Confirmation of why he was studying so hard as a kid.
-He is getting the feeling he failed at coming up with that solution considering later memories.
-During the memory itself, he was really hopeful and downright excited to try to tackle the curse. It was the first real challenge he faced, and he was confident he could pull it off.

He now remembers exactly what his goal was with his studies as a child, and everything he studied prior to university.

Traveling with Kiyotaka continues, God.

[Pages here, none of what's going on with Ayumu of course.]

He checked in on Yvette, referred to as "ponytails" on accounts of him not knowing her name. He makes himself at home in the Newspaper Club room, eating snacks (she threw a rice cracker at his head) and making tea and talking about how it would be best if she didn't get involved with him and Ayumu because it would surely end up painful. Yvette insists that she won't be there to help Ayumu through his trial with Hizumi, but also believes in Ayumu's ability to overcome it.

Hizumi on the other hand seems sure that Ayumu would lose to fate and that although it may seem like there's hope, it's just a trap that would lead to despair instead.

-Wow he really knew fuck all about Yvette, huh
-He was apparently very transparent about a final confrontation approaching
-Hope is scary because opening yourself up to being hopeful means falling harder into despair when you realize it was an empty hope all along.

A younger Izanagi, somewhere between 13-15 can be seen in some sort of medical facility, reading rapidly through what appears to be printed results from some sort of test, if not multiple. The reports themselves are mostly medical jargon and result numbers, but those who are particularly fast readers and familiar with the terminology may be able to glean the results themselves:

The cloning process resulted in issues buried in his very genes. His autonomous nervous system would eventually fail, leading to respiratory issues and heart failure. Prognosis: death before reaching the age of twenty.

It's pretty clear to see just how distraught he is as he looks over the report. He couldn't find a solution to the Blade Children, and, grasping at straws, looked into his very own DNA in case the secret to salvation lay there, but...

The report confirms it. There wasn't any hope for any of them, least of all him.

-He failed to find a solution to the BlaChil problem
-He's the one who found out about his and Ayumu's eventual demise through his research
-This is what ultimately taught him that any kind of hope was a lie and the future only held despair

Izanagi and Kiyotaka are walking through the alleyway of a place with distinctly European architecture. Izanagi trails a bit behind Kiyotaka's steady pace, hands in the pockets of his zip-up hoodie.

Kiyotaka doesn't seem to be at all on guard. It's the perfect time to strike.

Carefully, quietly, he draws a knife, not allowing his steps to speed up or falter in the slightest.

And yet...

They continue to walk. Izanagi's eyes are glued to the man's back, though he doesn't make a move to actually attack. Eventually, Kiyotaka calls out over his shoulder:

"Well? Are you going to do it, or not?"

Izanagi's steps stop as Kiyotaka turns to face him properly. Despite the fact that Izanagi's clearly armed, Kiyotaka seems completely unperturbed, a faint smile on his face.

Wordlessly, Izanagi lowers the knife. Kiyotaka almost looks disappointed.

Edited 2020-09-28 08:06 (UTC)

-He couldn't bring himself to kill Kiyotaka. It was like there was something preventing him from even trying.
-Although Kiyotaka didn't appear to be guarded, there was definitely a pressure that indicated some kind of defense.
-His thought process was that if he could somehow kill Kiyotaka that meant fate was fake and he could die, too.

In the same medical facility as before, at around the same age somewhere between 13-15, Izanagi receives a phone call (hey remember landline phones weren't those wild?).

The other voice on the line belongs to Kiyotaka, for those who would recognize it. He explains that he had another team doing similar research to Hizumi, and their results were exactly the same - in other words, an independent study that confirmed his own results weren't a fluke. The younger Hizumi takes the call quietly and professionally, though it's clear he's trying to end the conversation as soon as possible, eyes downcast and dull. Likely sensing as much, Kiyotaka assures him that if nothing else, his research was clearly flawless, to have obtained the answer so quickly on his own. Well, anyway, now that that's settled, Kiyotaka had better start making arrangements for Hizumi's return to Japan...

Not at all comforted by any of this information, Hizumi says his goodbyes and hangs up.

Edited 2020-11-04 20:50 (UTC)

-This is when Hizumi realizes that Kiyotaka probably knew what the results would be long before Hizumi even thought to study it.
-Which means everything was all according to keikaku for Kiyotaka
-And would probably continue to be according to keikaku
-The hatred for Kiyotaka is strong in this one

Edited 2020-11-04 20:50 (UTC)

He now remembers how much Kiyotaka loved iris flowers and stuck them on every goddamned thing associated with him.

MEMORY REGISTRY

Day 181

no subject

Day 190

no subject

Day 190

no subject

Day 196

no subject

Day 200

Re: Day 200

Day 205

Day 205

Day 205 - cw: suicidal ideation

no subject

Replacement link

Day 206

Day 213 CW: SUICIDE

Re: Day 213 CW: SUICIDE

Day 231

Day 231

Day 239

Day 239 - Kiyotaka's face is a spoiler probably

Notes

Day 257

Day 257

Day 257

Day 257 - All the plot! All the spoilers!

Notes

Day 263

Day 263

Day 263

Notes

Day 280

Notes

Day 288

Notes; suicidal ideation

Day 301

Notes;

Day 311