IC Contact; Empatheias [CLOSED]

[bondsofsuffering]

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[melodyoflogic]

[Ayumu knew what he was feeling, no matter how much he wanted to deny it and buried it under excuses. He didn't have many people he could say he was truly close with.... Hadn't, for most of his life. That lack of experience has made it easy at first to tell himself it was simply an unexpected depth and aspect of their friendship, and he'd embraced that idea for a while, simply savoring the easy closeness and comfort he'd never felt with anyone else before.

But it was hard to keep fooling himself. He'd felt something like this before, though in a way this was far more fulfilling. Hizumi valued him purely for him, didn't see 'Kiyotaka's little brother' as even Madoka had, though her kindness had always been genuine.

So it was hard to lie to himself, when every time Hizumi smiled--those genuine, happy smiles, real smiles that had grown in number as they spent time together--it warmed him in a way nothing else could.

And it made it so much harder to not let anything slip, when he knew he was important to Hizumi, too.

He presses his face a little more firmly into the pillow, the nervousness fading to give way to renewed exhaustion. Stupid of him too, to get worked up like this when he was in this shape.

He'd take what he could get. He'd done that before, and saw no reason to change that now. What he had with Hizumi was already more than enough, more than he'd ever thought he'd have. He lets his eyes fall closed, letting sleep take him again for hopefully the final time tonight.]