IC Contact; Empatheias [CLOSED]

[bondsofsuffering]

[All messages via the crystal network or messenger bird go here!

Be sure to indicate the date and method of communication; messenger bird, text, audio, or image!]

Comments

[bondsofsuffering]

[Hizumi doesn't move much from where he is, head still pressed lightly against Ayumu's.]

Night.

[...But his heart continues to thump away in his chest, uncomfortably so. He might have been able to convince himself it was a mistake at first, but the way Ayumu reacted... The way his own body is reacting, leaving him tenser than before--

It brings to mind some uncomfortable moments they'd shared in the past few months, moments that Hizumi had never quite been able to reconcile himself with. Moments that Hizumi had, quite frankly, never wanted to think about again. It's... weird, isn't it? Ayumu's his best and only friend. Of course he was happiest when he could be with the other. It was only natural to want to be close, physically and emotionally, after a painful experience like this.

...

No, that doesn't even sound convincing to himself. But at the same time, he can't bring himself to draw away. Being with Ayumu like this is... comfortable. Far more comfortable than it would be with anyone else, he's coming to realize. Although what that means overall for their relationship...

...

Well, he'll think about it some other time. He's weary enough, and his body needs the rest. Even now, he's beginning to relax and drift off.

He might not be able to put off those thoughts for much longer. But for now, at least, there is some reprieve.]

[melodyoflogic]

[Ayumu knew what he was feeling, no matter how much he wanted to deny it and buried it under excuses. He didn't have many people he could say he was truly close with.... Hadn't, for most of his life. That lack of experience has made it easy at first to tell himself it was simply an unexpected depth and aspect of their friendship, and he'd embraced that idea for a while, simply savoring the easy closeness and comfort he'd never felt with anyone else before.

But it was hard to keep fooling himself. He'd felt something like this before, though in a way this was far more fulfilling. Hizumi valued him purely for him, didn't see 'Kiyotaka's little brother' as even Madoka had, though her kindness had always been genuine.

So it was hard to lie to himself, when every time Hizumi smiled--those genuine, happy smiles, real smiles that had grown in number as they spent time together--it warmed him in a way nothing else could.

And it made it so much harder to not let anything slip, when he knew he was important to Hizumi, too.

He presses his face a little more firmly into the pillow, the nervousness fading to give way to renewed exhaustion. Stupid of him too, to get worked up like this when he was in this shape.

He'd take what he could get. He'd done that before, and saw no reason to change that now. What he had with Hizumi was already more than enough, more than he'd ever thought he'd have. He lets his eyes fall closed, letting sleep take him again for hopefully the final time tonight.]