bondsofsuffering | IC Contact; Empatheias [CLOSED]

Hey... Hizu-chan? Remember how I saw that memory of yours?

[ His head is still lowered, but Hizumi should be able to see the way his mouth curves now, and it isn't a normal smile at all. ]

I guess the mirror was pretty generous with mine.

[Hizumi is, oddly enough, unfazed. He merely tilts his head, as though nothing were strange about this at all.]

Oh? In what way?

[ He doesn't move an inch, breath falling it out faster because he doesn't want to do this but-- ]

Because unlike you, I had the guts to watch someone's life slip away.

[ This time when the black smog starts to grow against the tree it's heavier, darker, more like a thick tar than smoke at all. ]

I watched as someone who called me their friend was forced to strangle our classmate for me because I told them to. She struggled a lot, y'know? But who wouldn't?

[ The smog is acting like a rope, spinning around the bottom of the tree and digging in now, sharpening at the edges as it cuts into the trunk.

He hates her enough for making him do that it isn't that difficult to have it cut into the tree if he lets all of it out. ]

It was her fault for trying to kill me to begin with.

[He watches the smoke impassively, noting the way it cuts. It really is a detestably familiar sight...]

How much do you believe that?

That it's her fault.

Edited (ICON PICKER PLEASE) 2018-02-24 23:57 (UTC)

[ Like teacher like student... ]

I offered her a way out and she refused to take it, whose fault would it be if not hers?

But you still hate yourself.

I hate what I had to become to do that. [ His eyes are on the tree now and it’s definitely getting worse. ]

I made myself be the villain they needed me to be to try and draw the real one out. It kinda makes you question what person you are if you can pull that off, y’know?

[Playing the villain, huh...]

The kind someone would believe is capable of cruelty... The kind willin' to sacrifice a life to get to what you want...

[Well, the pieces are starting to fit together now, at least.]

So you think you deserve that hatred, too?

[ The smog spins faster as his eyes kind of zone out, hopefully it won't topple over in their direction when he's done with this but. At least it's working. ]

I forced Momota-chan to take part in my plan to trap the mastermind, forced him to kill me in a way no one would be able to tell it was me, they'd think it was him instead. I made a murderer out of 2 other people to keep my own hands clean.

[ The fact that he had him take his own life instead of someone else's probably is more telling on how he wanted to save the others no matter the cost though. ]

Because you died at the hands of one of 'em.

[He's not so dull as to miss that point, at least. His eye is on the tree, too, watching to ensure it doesn't fall and squash Ouma flat - and being prepared to act just in case it does.]

...So, why? Why even bother goin' after the mastermind, if that's the kinda fate that awaited you?

[...He can guess. It's really not that difficult to put together. But this is more about talking Ouma through it than getting answers for himself, at the moment.]

[ He's half blinking back tears now, and he can't remember if he's ever actually said the words to anyone here before. Maybe he did to Saihara, but-- ]

Because it was worth it if they'd go free.

[ The dark smoke whispers at the edges now, dense enough to become like iron in the centre. It starts sawing deeper, cutting into the bark so tightly that the tree is starting to wobble. ]

I wouldn't be missed anyway.

[He can't quite prevent his own shadow from giving a jolt at those last words, cutting a little too close for comfort. But even if there's a question on his lips, he bites it back.

This isn't story time. This is about emotions.

His eyes flicker up to the tree instead, and his shadow begins to stretch across the ground, as though cast by a low sun. Reaching closer to Ouma, though not yet lifting from the ground.]

Do you hate them for failin' in a way that forced you to take that role? Or do you just hate yourself for stoopin' so low?

[They're getting close...]

[ His head is a mess, and even if he's talked about it a little it's never really been in this much detail. ]

Does it matter? If Akamatsu-chan hadn't tried to kill Amami-chan... if Shirogane-chan hadn't killed him when that failed then it wouldn't have started but we would have all died.

I just did what I had to when it came to it.

[ At least he could have prevented it if he'd been a Stable Human Being from the beginning, maybe. If he hadn't lied and made it so people couldn't trust him either. ]

It does.

[His answer is simple and blunt.]

We're tryin' to sort out just how to work with those emotions of yours, Ko-chan. Whatever the end result--

[He stretches out an arm in a sweeping gesture.]

What matters here is how you feel about it now.

[ A chunk of it flies off, stabbing into the ground to the right of them both. After it lands there's a moment then smoke is coming off it, the piece disintergrating now it isn't part of the section. If anything, his control is getting worse now and the form of the dense smog is becoming more jagged. It cuts deep enough that the tree groans, and before Ouma can snap back at him it's already toppling towards them. ]

[Ahhh shit.

He was prepared for this outcome, at the very least. Because that shadow leaps into the air immediately, wrapping around Ouma to yank him forcefully out of the way even as Hizumi hurries to sidestep the tree himself. The shadows will even hold Ouma in the air for a moment after the tree settles on the ground, only depositing him on the ground again once Hizumi's sure they both made it out unscathed--

Or so he thinks.]

--Haaah, maybe that was a bit much after all.

[ He sees the movement out of the corner of his eyes, and while the end result won't be great either, it's a good job Hizumi moves to help because he doesn't move an inch. Fear definitely freezes him in place, along with the feeling of it doesn't matter that he's let himself get caught up in when letting all of this out.

The problem is that the shadows that wrap around him are tight and squeeze as he's held in the air. His breath stops, panic making him try and squirm out of it and he's working himself up more than necessary while trying to not let it show.

The longer it goes on though, the less chance he has. He ends up locked in a flashback when his ribs feel like they're cracking and while it isn't his head it doesn't seem to matter anymore. As soon as he's put down his knees give out from under him and he's gasping for air, coughing hard until he throws up on the floor. He's shaking and no amount of BS will probably help him squirm his way out of talking about this now either. ]

[Hizumi had accounted for the tree - he hadn't accounted for Ouma falling sick right on the spot.]

Hey--

[His voice sharp with alarm, he hurries to the boy's side, reaching out, pausing, gingerly laying a hand on his back ready to pull away again if that makes it worse. Something happened, obviously, but he can't think of anything offhand that should have caused this sort of reaction-- the shadows moved quickly, yes, but a short jolt like that shouldn't be enough to cause lasting motion sickness, least of all to this degree.

His eyes take in the scene, searching for any clue of the cause.]

Hey... what happened...?

[His free hand, he'll use to begin fishing out a handkerchief, though he's not quite handing it over yet.]

[ He barely hears anything, too caught up in the MRRRRGH of the press coming down, the memory of the pain of poison in his system then the feeling of being crushed. His eyes are blank, breath falling so quickly it's hard to even count the number of breaths per minute.

It's only when he feels a hand on his back that he registers the fact that someone is there at all.

It starts with a gasp, sharper and louder than the breaths from before. It manages to interrupt the breathing rate, get oxygen into him so he can start trying to come around again. ]

[Okay, there's a reaction, which is good. His hand slides to Ouma's shoulder, arm loosely over his shoulders as a whole but still prepared to stop if his reaction worsens.]

C'mon, slow down and breathe.

[A quick glance around tells him there's no one else in the park, or at least not nearby. Not surprising, it's still winter and most people are staying in the warmth of their homes.

He sits himself down next to Ouma, setting the handkerchief as flat as can be on his leg. Even as he tries to keep Ouma grounded, he focuses on envy, cold and crackling and--

A shard of ice appears on top of the handkerchief, not quite shaped the way he'd like but good enough. He then shifts gears, instead thinking thoughts of love and affection and warming the air right up again, enough to get the ice to begin melting.

It'll soak through his pant leg, but that's alright, there's other things to focus on right now.]

Stay with me here, okay?

[ The next stage after shock, though, is tears. Normally the only person who really sees this is Kaito and even then he's aware enough to give him space to work through it instead of hovering too much. Hizumi doesn't know though, he isn't aware enough of his boundaries or why he's like this to begin with. ]

S...Shut up.

[ It doesn't sound like him at all though, it's harsher and cracked, like he's barely holding himself together. The worst part is that he can't even bring himself to ask for who he really wants there, he's too busy avoiding all three of them. ]

[Hey, he's talking again. Hizumi's going to take this as a sign of improvement, even if the words themselves are far from friendly.

He dumps what remains of the ice chunk on the ground and removes his hand to instead dangle the now damp handkerchief in front of Ouma's face, in clear view.]

So you can clean up.

[ He reaches up to take the handkerchief and wipe his mouth, his breathing slowly becoming more normal now. He doesn't say anything else, looking to where the tree is collapsed on the floor. ]

[He begins to stand, tugging lightly on Ouma's sleeve - he'll help him up by his arm if he wants help, but if not he'll go ahead and stand on his own to survey the damages.]

Looks like your emotions can really pack a punch. Learn how to direct 'em, and you could probably use them for all kinds of useful things...

[...]

Well, I kinda expected the first part. But not this. [And he nods at the mess in front of Ouma.]

How do we avoid that?

[Something seems to have triggered it, but he knows far too little to pinpoint what. From the brusqueness of his tone, it's pretty clear he isn't really asking for details; not really expecting that from Ouma, either.

As long as he knows how to prevent it from happening again, that will suffice for now. Yes, he's helping Ouma sort out his emotions in order to work with his dunamis, but even Hizumi can see when there's a need for boundaries.]

[ His legs still feel wobbly as he lets Hizumi pull him up. His throat hurts but he ignores it for now. ]

Isn't that what you're here for? [ But... he lets his eyes sink to the floor where he'd thrown up, grimaces a bit. ] I don't like being grabbed.

[ Understatement of the year. ]

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