bondsofsuffering | IC Contact; Empatheias [CLOSED]

[He didn't want to hurt Hizumi, and he nearly quiets down right then and there when Hizumi winces. All he's done is cause problems for months now, and he just.....

it was selfish, but he still....

The warmth of Hizumi settling so close to him gives him his voice back, however, and he reaches out to take that hand in his own.]

Can you stay awhile? If you're not busy.

[His hand curls in a twitch as it's grabbed, although only just. It goes limp soon after, and his hesitation is plain on his face, eyes not meeting Ayumu's.

He wants so, so badly to curl up right next to Ayumu, to enjoy the warm comfort they used to share before any of this Elios business occurred. And Ayumu himself just invited him...]

[When he smiles, it's a weak, pathetic one, but he's a weak, pathetic person even if he's managed to convince many otherwise.]

Not busy at all.

[He slides his hand from Ayumu's, stepping back - if only so he can go around the bed to the other side, flopping on top and scooting right up next to Ayumu without having to climb over his legs. That's still the worry, after all, and he'll do what he can to avoid aggravating them further.

As he leans up against Ayumu's shoulder, the words tumble out softly along with a sigh:]

...I'm sorry, Ayumu.

[For all of this.]

[That hesitation hurts, just a little, and Ayumu knows it's stupid to feel like he'd screwed up somehow, but.... a tiny part of him did. But Hizumi smiles anyway, and Ayumu's weak and pathetic too, because as soon as Hizumi's coming around to scoot up next to him, Ayumu's meeting him in the middle to wrap an arm around his waist, resting his head against Hizumi's with a sigh. The position is a little awkward on his legs, but he doesn't much care.

Just being closer to him made him forget about the ache in his wounds a little.]

Why are you apologizing? It's all because I'm stuck in bed that you've got so much extra work.

Edited 2017-07-07 09:27 (UTC)

Because it's my fault you're stuck in bed.

[The answer comes all too quickly, even as he curls an arm around Ayumu in turn.]

Even if those feelings were twisted... They're still there.

[And despite his carefully level tone, his grip tightens ever so slightly with those words.

No, not all of the blame could be placed on him alone, and he realizes that. But all the same, he knows that those feelings came from somewhere, and that intent to do anything - everything he could to keep his most precious people here had their roots in something very, very real. And while he's known and even rationalized his thoughts on the matter long ago, actually acting upon them...

That scares him, and not just because of just how easily he'd been influenced into it.]

I know. But I know you wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for Elios' influence.

[He knew Hizumi better than that. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Ayumu, or Frisk-- and.....]

You already know I don't want to leave you, after all.

[He presses a little closer, seeking out the warmth of Hizumi next to him for comfort. He knew, of course, exactly what Hizumi was capable of-- he had no illusions about that. Neither of them were exactly normal. But he also knew who Hizumi was, and he knew Hizumi knew who he was, too.

A thought that might have frightened him to the core once, and it was still a little embarrassing, but it was reassuring now, too.]

But Elios' emotions aren't the only thing that can influence me, here.

[And at that thought, he just leans all the more heavily onto Ayumu. Tipping his head to rest on Ayumu's shoulder, all the easier for burying his face in it, as he does when he gets into these moods.

He may no longer be in danger of becoming the Devil, but he can still be dangerous. And falling under an outside influence like that...

It brings all kinds of negative emotions to the surface, swirling together unhappily.]

[He's quite for a moment at that, before finally shifting, tucking his legs slightly to the side with a carefully contained wince. His pain tolerance at least was decent, and his need to comfort Hizumi was far greater. He tucks Hizumi's head up against the crook of his neck, one hand reaching up to stroke fluffy green hair.]

The same goes for me, you know. For everyone here, to one degree or another. [Ayumu was well aware he was capable of being dangerous if pushed. He chose non-violence for his own reasons, but....]

I can't say I wouldn't resort to something insane to keep you with me if something or someone threatened that, especially under the influence of something.

[He'd finally found happiness. How far would he go to protect that.....?]

But.... if that happens.... I'll find a way to bring you back to normal.

[He relaxes into that familiar hold, the air only just beginning to warm slightly from his emotions.

It feels like it's been a long time since that happened naturally.]

...Thanks. [It takes a while for him to answer, but once he does, he follows it with:]

After everythin' we've been through... I just don't wanna lose myself like that, you know?

[It's probably unavoidable, to some extent. But after everything he'd worked to prevent, it feels... Wrong. Disgusting, if he's being honest with himself.

As much as this world has blessed them, falling to the influence of emotions was the exact opposite of what Hizumi wanted.

IC Contact; Empatheias [CLOSED]

no subject

1/2

2/2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject