Hizumi "every bad breakup song" Mizushiro ([personal profile] bondsofsuffering) wrote2024-08-07 11:08 pm
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heavyliesthecrown: (The same as always I see...)

Re: 250 Afternoon/Evening

[personal profile] heavyliesthecrown 2025-03-28 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
[His eyes shoot in every which direction nervously. Even though he attempted to practice how to speak with him once more, all of it has fled him. Nerves erupt, and it feels as though his stomach has dropped. From his position on the bed, his fingers curl into the blanket as though he wants to dive under them again, but he focuses on taking a breath and then another before speaking.]

Please come in. It is not really my room to bar anyone entry.
heavyliesthecrown: (Touched)

2/3

[personal profile] heavyliesthecrown 2025-03-29 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ Uu... ]
heavyliesthecrown: (Tough moment)

3/3

[personal profile] heavyliesthecrown 2025-03-29 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
[Carefully lifting a clawed hand, he reaches for a free sleeve or the fabric of his shirt and holds on gently, but tight. His other shakes as it curls into the blankets below.]

I spent hours agonizing over how to speak to you next. I never came up with a plan I felt satisfied with.

[His hands shake before his head dips forward to stare at the mattress beneath him.]

I'm sorry. I am a hundred thousand times sorry, and no matter how much I might apologize, it will not make up for hurting you. There is no ocean wide enough to express the depths of regret and sorrow I possess. It is like an anchor dragging me to the bottom of the sea floor.

[His other hand lifts to gently grasp hold of him, too.]

But you deserve an apology, as inadequate as it may be. And truthfully, I do not know what else I can say. All that I can do is apologize and tell you that I would never in my right mind ever try to hurt you. Everything happened in a haze, as though it were happening to someone else, except for the pain. I can only recall bits and pieces, but that does not offer you any solace.

[He bows his head low to the bed.]

I love you, Snow. Please forgive me. I am heartbroken knowing the pain and confusion I inflicted upon you. There is no conceivable way that you are all right after everything that transpired, but if there is anything I might be able to do, inadequate as it may be, please tell me. What can I do...? What should I say to make things even just a little bit better? Perhaps I do not deserve that opportunity, but selfishly, like a child, I cannot help but continue to reach for you. I cannot imagine a world where you are not in mine.
heavyliesthecrown: (Some days be like that)

Re: 3/3

[personal profile] heavyliesthecrown 2025-04-01 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
That is exceedingly kind. It is hard to feel very forgiving toward myself right now, though.

[Leaning forward, he rests the top of his head against his chest, still dipped down, closing his eyes and allowing himself to feel the soft stroke of his fingers at his ears.]

It wasn't worth it. No amount of answers would ever be worth the taking of your life. I thought that the effects would remain with me alone.
heavyliesthecrown: (So that's what this is about then?)

Re: 3/3

[personal profile] heavyliesthecrown 2025-04-02 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
[He takes comfort in the touch.]

. . . I wonder if that is what happened to me in my funeral vision.

[His belief in his death.]

To be honest, I do not even know what information was gleaned since the performance. I was not in my right mind to look and have not really left the room.
heavyliesthecrown: (I didn't say I wanna kiss him... much)

Re: 3/3

[personal profile] heavyliesthecrown 2025-04-04 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
I certainly have no heart for it at the moment.

[Neither does he wish to throw out what they learned, though, especially due to the price.]

You do not... have any lingering effects, do you?
heavyliesthecrown: (Being a rich boy is exhausting)

Re: 3/3

[personal profile] heavyliesthecrown 2025-04-04 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
[He leans against him, sinking into his warmth. His tail curls loosely around him.]

I feel absolutely terrible, actually. Whoever said that crying is beneficial lied. My eyes feel tired, my head hurts slightly, and my sinuses are stuffy. I haven't looked, but I imagine it appears as though I haven't slept in ages.