[His eyes shoot in every which direction nervously. Even though he attempted to practice how to speak with him once more, all of it has fled him. Nerves erupt, and it feels as though his stomach has dropped. From his position on the bed, his fingers curl into the blanket as though he wants to dive under them again, but he focuses on taking a breath and then another before speaking.]
Please come in. It is not really my room to bar anyone entry.
[Cress' nervousness is clear, and there's some concern on Snow's face - though he takes little time at all before crossing that distance, his hand moving to hover briefly over Cress' head before giving him a gentle pet.]
[Carefully lifting a clawed hand, he reaches for a free sleeve or the fabric of his shirt and holds on gently, but tight. His other shakes as it curls into the blankets below.]
I spent hours agonizing over how to speak to you next. I never came up with a plan I felt satisfied with.
[His hands shake before his head dips forward to stare at the mattress beneath him.]
I'm sorry. I am a hundred thousand times sorry, and no matter how much I might apologize, it will not make up for hurting you. There is no ocean wide enough to express the depths of regret and sorrow I possess. It is like an anchor dragging me to the bottom of the sea floor.
[His other hand lifts to gently grasp hold of him, too.]
But you deserve an apology, as inadequate as it may be. And truthfully, I do not know what else I can say. All that I can do is apologize and tell you that I would never in my right mind ever try to hurt you. Everything happened in a haze, as though it were happening to someone else, except for the pain. I can only recall bits and pieces, but that does not offer you any solace.
[He bows his head low to the bed.]
I love you, Snow. Please forgive me. I am heartbroken knowing the pain and confusion I inflicted upon you. There is no conceivable way that you are all right after everything that transpired, but if there is anything I might be able to do, inadequate as it may be, please tell me. What can I do...? What should I say to make things even just a little bit better? Perhaps I do not deserve that opportunity, but selfishly, like a child, I cannot help but continue to reach for you. I cannot imagine a world where you are not in mine.
By the end of it, those gentle hairpets continue.]
I already know you never would, Cress. And... it wasn't all that confusing, really. Due to the effect I was under, I didn't care if you intended to kill me or not.
There's nothing you need to do to make up for it, I promise you.
That is exceedingly kind. It is hard to feel very forgiving toward myself right now, though.
[Leaning forward, he rests the top of his head against his chest, still dipped down, closing his eyes and allowing himself to feel the soft stroke of his fingers at his ears.]
It wasn't worth it. No amount of answers would ever be worth the taking of your life. I thought that the effects would remain with me alone.
. . . I wonder if that is what happened to me in my funeral vision.
[His belief in his death.]
To be honest, I do not even know what information was gleaned since the performance. I was not in my right mind to look and have not really left the room.
[He leans against him, sinking into his warmth. His tail curls loosely around him.]
I feel absolutely terrible, actually. Whoever said that crying is beneficial lied. My eyes feel tired, my head hurts slightly, and my sinuses are stuffy. I haven't looked, but I imagine it appears as though I haven't slept in ages.
Re: 250 Afternoon/Evening
Please come in. It is not really my room to bar anyone entry.
Re: 250 Afternoon/Evening
Don't look so scared to talk to a friend.
1/3
2/3
3/3
I spent hours agonizing over how to speak to you next. I never came up with a plan I felt satisfied with.
[His hands shake before his head dips forward to stare at the mattress beneath him.]
I'm sorry. I am a hundred thousand times sorry, and no matter how much I might apologize, it will not make up for hurting you. There is no ocean wide enough to express the depths of regret and sorrow I possess. It is like an anchor dragging me to the bottom of the sea floor.
[His other hand lifts to gently grasp hold of him, too.]
But you deserve an apology, as inadequate as it may be. And truthfully, I do not know what else I can say. All that I can do is apologize and tell you that I would never in my right mind ever try to hurt you. Everything happened in a haze, as though it were happening to someone else, except for the pain. I can only recall bits and pieces, but that does not offer you any solace.
[He bows his head low to the bed.]
I love you, Snow. Please forgive me. I am heartbroken knowing the pain and confusion I inflicted upon you. There is no conceivable way that you are all right after everything that transpired, but if there is anything I might be able to do, inadequate as it may be, please tell me. What can I do...? What should I say to make things even just a little bit better? Perhaps I do not deserve that opportunity, but selfishly, like a child, I cannot help but continue to reach for you. I cannot imagine a world where you are not in mine.
Re: 3/3
By the end of it, those gentle hairpets continue.]
I already know you never would, Cress. And... it wasn't all that confusing, really. Due to the effect I was under, I didn't care if you intended to kill me or not.
There's nothing you need to do to make up for it, I promise you.
Re: 3/3
[Leaning forward, he rests the top of his head against his chest, still dipped down, closing his eyes and allowing himself to feel the soft stroke of his fingers at his ears.]
It wasn't worth it. No amount of answers would ever be worth the taking of your life. I thought that the effects would remain with me alone.
Re: 3/3
I seriously thought I was already dead, and I didn't get much from that either. But... some of the other squares had some interesting info.
Re: 3/3
. . . I wonder if that is what happened to me in my funeral vision.
[His belief in his death.]
To be honest, I do not even know what information was gleaned since the performance. I was not in my right mind to look and have not really left the room.
Re: 3/3
We'll have to collect everything we got later.
Re: 3/3
[Neither does he wish to throw out what they learned, though, especially due to the price.]
You do not... have any lingering effects, do you?
Re: 3/3
[And he'll shift - taking hold of Cress' hands while he moves to sit next to the boy, shoulders practically touching.]
It's the same for you, I'd think.
Re: 3/3
I feel absolutely terrible, actually. Whoever said that crying is beneficial lied. My eyes feel tired, my head hurts slightly, and my sinuses are stuffy. I haven't looked, but I imagine it appears as though I haven't slept in ages.