[He lets out an exhale, remaining as close and snug to Ayumu as possible. Trying, if nothing else, to focus on the physical sensation of Ayumu's body wrapped around his rather than the thoughts still swirling in his head.]

Right... if you let anythin' happen to me, you'd be just like Kiyotaka.

[His voice goes low at the thought.]

...I knew, though. I wanted to be with you, even though I hated you. I thought that, maybe if I frustrated you enough, you'd give in and kill me. Or... maybe, if I gave in, I could find some kinda solace.

Neither worked.

[Love and hatred, that desire both to die and to kill... His head was a conflicted mess, really, and he gives it a shake even as he continues to keep his face firmly in Ayumu's shoulder.]

There's no way for either of us to win, like that. It's just a matter of how we lose.

[What a fate to have to bear... It's no wonder neither Yaiba nor Kiyotaka were able to stand it.]